HIS SIDE OF THE STORY

His Side of the Story

I have been longing for this day. And it is finally here. I don't know whether I should be happy or sad. I am going away from my loved ones- people whom I love beyond words. Had it been possible for me to always live with them like this, I would have. But in spite of that, I still cant help but await this day- the day of my departure. Not that I don't love them or I don't like staying with them. But somehow this time I am all the more anxious to leave than ever before. Though it is a course of every year- every year I come here on my vacation. And I always get treated with so much love, care & affinity. But still, I cant wait any more to go back home.

This year I was a bit apprehensive since the beginning. I had already expressed my thoughts to my mother- my lovely mother whom I miss so much- that I do not feel like going this year. She had asked me the reason & I had explained it to her. She just looked at me with those beautiful eyes of her- they have some calming effect on me- I guess they have the same effect on everybody- & she tried to make me understand. Though I did not really feel like accepting everything that she said, but I still eventually did.

And here I am. As I sit here & long for my home, I wonder when did this happen. I mean- this change. It was never like this before. Through out the year I used to await- to get back here on every vacation. Since years that I have now lost count of, I have always been happy to visit here, get pampered, make everybody happy. But since the last few years, I have been feeling more & more lost. As if nobody here really needs me, in precise. They want me to come & celebrate the vacation with them of course - but I don't think they really love the idea as they did before.

People change, they say. I guess they really do. Maybe each generation brings with it a different change & I was always happy to adapt to these changes. I never had any hesitations with change. I am flexible that way. But what makes me feel bad is that some where in all this change, these people are missing out on the main purpose. Which is actual happiness in a manner that gives you internal peace & divinity! I doubt any of them feels that anymore. Of course, few still do; like the guy standing in front of me right now. He is standing here with his eyes tightly shut- trying to push away all the noises & trying hard to concentrate. I don't blame him. With all this noise, I doubt even I would have been able to concentrate being a human.

As he moves away, I look around- more like ahead- as there is nothing to look around. Its all closed- rather packed. As I sit here patiently, looking forward- or I should say backward, I can hear blaring music from behind me. I feel like taking a glimpse at it & I get up & go to take a peek.

What I see surprises me- though not much- I had anticipated this in some ways- I knew it was coming. There stands a huge crowd, dancing vigorously- to booming music coming out from dhols & loudspeakers. The noise is so much that I feel like running away, far far away from here! My heart starts beating faster with all this blare. I don't know how do these people tolerate it, nonetheless dance like this. Looking at them I feel that they have forgotten my existence. They are so engrossed in their dances- Nagin dance & Ganpati dance- I collected those terms from two boys talking about it- that they barely remember I am sitting there behind- left alone- having nothing to look at. Well, wasn't it supposed to be my birthday week?

See, that is what I meant when I said that these people have lost out on the main purpose. For them, it has become a mere festival like the other festivals, where you just get me home, make fancy decorations, & then have all the fun of your life. Have one million people come home, have competitions about me, dance to blaring cacophonous music (if this is called music), and have grand processions with me where they do these weird vulgar dances and... And I don’t know what else to say. I am feeling depressed now.

No, don't look at me like that. So what if I am no human?! We Gods also do get depressed at times! I mean just look at this man dancing here like a maniac- I can read his mind & I know very well that he has forgotten me- for him I am only equivalent to ten days of fun & party. 

Here now, there is another man- he has me on his mind but for all the wrong reasons. He is only concerned with his food- rather he is desperate as to when will tomorrow ascend & he can eat non vegetarian food again. 

Well, if I could, I would like to tell him that he needn't sacrifice things for me- I don't need your sacrifices, dear human. I need your honesty. Your feelings are what matter to me. I never told anybody what to eat or what not to during my 'festival'. I wouldn't really mind it if you all carry on with your usual staple diets and regular things. But yes I do mind if you do things for me halfheartedly. Or worse, you do them only out of obligation. If you give up on something for me, do it wholeheartedly, without thinking of it as a sacrifice. 

When you do something for your loved one- when you give up something for them, do you await this desperately? Thinking “khatam karo taki jaan chute?” I am sure you don't. 

And no, don't lie- not to me- I know everything & your every intention. Drop the mask of hypocrisy at least before me!

This year they got me in a new form- an eco-friendly Ganesha as they call it. So that the seas & the rivers don't get polluted with my immersion. I loved the idea when I heard of it. What better thing than to be useful. But now I see that purpose lost as well, here, when I see them bursting a long line of fire crackers - a wire of 100. My ears throb with the huge noise & my eyes water with all the pollution. My heart goes out to the old lady standing at her window up there who cannot take in so much noise. My heart wrenches for the baby here - whose mother is trying to dance cradling her- as the baby's eyes water with all this smoke. 

All this makes me think back. Back to the time when Ganesh Chaturthi had just started. It all used to be so nice, so happy & so peaceful. People used to bring me home, take care of me, pray to me, meet friends & families, enjoy. Maybe the definition of enjoyment at that time was different. Maybe now its only the change. Maybe its my fault I cannot really digest this tremendous change. But honestly, I preferred it that way. 

Then, people would actually be happy to have me home. They would cry when I left. They would be with mee when I was there. 

Now many-a-times people don't even sit down before me, for a mere five minutes, peacefully. At times I am left alone in the room while everyone is busy in his own world. No, I am not saying they should leave everything & be with me all the while. But at least be with me when they can. 

But I guess that's how things have changed. Hmm. Maybe.

As I see another procession suddenly joining us- it is bigger than this one- with more people, more music & more dhols- & a bigger huger idol of me- I read out the banner & realize it is some local political group's "Sarvajanik Ganeshotsav". 

That draws me back to the time when Sarvajanik Ganeshotsavs were started. The main reason for it being that people of all communities & all castes come together & celebrate my arrival. Now I see that purpose lost as well. I see "Sarvajanik" Ganeshotsavs on every nook & corner. Every lane has one, at times two. Every small & big political party has one. Every community has one. Every building has one. I find it funny now. Where is the purpose of togetherness here? Where is the purpose of unity? Where is the peace? I guess its long lost. Long lost in the years- in the changes. Changes which are tough for me to accept.

Now that I am leaving, I wish to tell these humans here that I am not apprehensive of change. When you changed my styles, when you modified my idols into different forms of Gods, I was fine with it. In fact this year when you modified my form into Bahubali style, I accepted that too. I love innovation. I am the creator of innovation & thoughts. Of course I like them. When you changed my food to different items, I accepted it. When you started making me eco-friendly I welcomed it with open arms. When you started making my processions grand- for no apparent reason-I still accepted it. In fact, when you carried on with your lives just the same when I was there, I was still perfectly fine with it. When you gave up non vegetarian "for" me or when you still continued to have it, I was fine with either.

But when you started changing the main purpose- I don't think I am very fine with it. I come here for you people. I come down here so that you people feel some peace. So that you experience divinity. So that all of you feel amity. But I see all of it gone awry. No longer do people bow to me with the same feelings. No longer do people feel peace- maybe they don't have the time to experience peace anymore. No longer do they feel weird to do my aartis in weird song tunes. No longer do they feel Ganesh Utsav should have at least some spirituality, some harmony and some oneness with the Almighty. No longer do you all realize that this is not just a festival. Its a lot more. A lot, lot more.

Well, who cares what I think? But yes, if you people continue these weird mannerisms, I guess I wouldn't care. & trust me, you wouldn't like it if I start to not care!

It is time now. I am being immersed. I am going with a heavy heart- like never before. But just as I am being immersed, I see a small girl looking at me with tears in her eyes. With peace on her face & contentment in her soul. And I know what she is thinking- she wants me to come back soon next year- & for her, I will come back next year again. 

(Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. No intentions to harm any sentiments of any person, society or sect. The story is only a thought process of the writer.

Images have been taken from results obtained vide Google Images)